My life

This post would be something personal yup.
Actually I’ve been thinking deeply myself.
Of what I wrote.
I asked myself.
Whats my purpose of living.
Then I realize.
How cruel humans are.
Cruel til the point they shouldn’t exist.
I couldn’t figure out whats my life for.
Why am I living.
Here typing.
Then I finally came to a conclusion.
I am here and alive.
Is because I’m unable to die.
I’ve come to a conclusion.
Life is a journey.
A journey to death.
I believe death.
Is the end and yet the beginning.
This is what I know now.
The reason I’m alive.
Something don’t exist and occur for no reason.
Human exist to ruin our motherland.
We hate we kill we ruin.
We all should just die.
So do i.
I wouldn’t care much about my life now.
Even if I would just die.
It won’t be surprising.
From young.
I’ve always thought about death.
How people die.
Why people die.
I’ve thought many reasons and ways.
Sometimes.
I wished I would just got a cancer.
Or got into a accident.
Or just happened to die.
I realize this now.
Mankind.
Human.
Me.
Should be eradicated.
Motherland shouldn’t be tolerating us.
We made others suffer.
We caused death.
We create sorrows.
I do.
I am sorrow.
I am death.

So conclusion.
I thought to myself again.
I don’t wish to die leaving many unsaid words in my head.
Cause we don’t know when we’ll die.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe next year.
Eventually you will.
I won’t depend on anyone.
I won’t be a burden to anyone.
I wanna tell my friends.
I love you guys.
Live well.
Shawn
We might drawn distances.
But we know our heart is here.
I want you to know.
Deep inside you’re still my brother.
For life and I mean it.
WS.
My past.
I apologize.
I’m grateful.
For everything.
For anything.
In life.
There are unpredictable things.
Inevitable death.
Unvoiced accidents.
Parts and parcels of life.
I really did loved you a lot once.
But I’m sorry.
It swayed.
It went.
It flew.
My bad.
Live well.
Cherish what you have.
Life’s a learning journey.
Don’t be drag down by past.
They will only consume you.
And J.
Memories will hang by me.
I won’t forget.
I won’t look back.
All the best and sorry.
I might made a lot assumptions.
You might claimed that those are made by me.
No evidence.
Hear this.
I’m a very observant person.
I don’t think or react someway or another.
For no reason.
I won’t blame you.
Nor anyone.
But myself.
Mistaken is what I would call.
Misled would what it would be.
Smile and don’t frown.
Grow old easily.
Smiles.
Brothers.
Memories.
Pubs sessions.
They’re great.
We might not really know each other for long.
But we cherish one another we know it.
But just that we don’t say it.
Now I will.
Life’s unpredictable ya.
All those running from tutorials and lectures were memorable.
All the ‘xia lan-ness’ talks.
Prata sessions are unforgettable.
Smoking period.
We smiled we laughed.
We frowned.
But we’re bonded.
YQ.
Don’t betray my trust.
I might not know whats going on exactly.
But at least roughly.
I don’t blame anyone.
All I ask for is frankness.
Theres no need to lie at this point of time.
Mutual trust between us yea.
I might forgive you once.
Twice.
But I cant guarantee you how many more times.
I trusted you.
I hoped you do to me.
We’re closer then any couples remember?
If you realized I don’t really care about that debt anymore.
Haha. Jokes.
I’m not a gay by the way.
All the best.
I would die for anyone.
I would lay my life down for you guys.
In your place.
If things were to happen.
J.
YQ.
Shawn.
WS.
Chris.
Ivor.
Bert.
Tere.
XF.
Duck.
Cheers!
=)
I would lay my life down for anyone.
Even strangers.
Cause I’ve seen enough in life.
I can no longer figure out what I still yearn for.
My life is no longer lacking of anything.
I got memories.
I’ve got my lovers.
I’ve got my brothers.
They’re enough.
So I no longer see my worth and value.
Thus I’m writing this.
I don’t wish anyone of you people out there to come approach me regarding this post.
Especially my tagboard.
Keep it to yourself.
Don’t talk to me regarding this post.
Cause I’ll feign ignorance.
Death is something inevitable.
But I no longer have the motivation to avoid it.
Now I yearn for something.
Something special.
I want to know.
Whats going to be like in afterlife.
Or even if it exist.
Cool ya.
Til here for this post.
Remember my request.
My purpose of this post is not trying to gain sympathy or whatsoever.
I just want people around me to know something more about me.
Something which no one knew.
A side which is unrevealed and hidden.
What you’ve seen is just a happy go lucky Cheng.
There is this side of me.
Which no one know.
My deep thoughts.
My own thinking.
Its time to let loose.
Sorry for getting carried away.
A little secret of mine.
No living being know this other then me.
I actually attempted to commit suicide when I was primary 5 or 6.
Scary huh.
But something we gotta keep in mind.
Life’s unpredictable.
We might just die later.
Period.