crude

worlds crude. lifes screwed. fuck life.
gross isn't it.
(:




as the music stops.
the echo stays.
only in the light.
the shadow can be seen.

Untitled

"Everythings' actually everything but the everything consist of something labelled nothing."

Lets play a game.
Decipher the message i'm trying to pass down with the statement above.
I'll let you ask a question.
Answered truthfully that is.
One try allowed.
(:

The Last Song Ever by Secondhand Serenade.
I wish my life was this song
cause songs they never die
I could write for years and years
and never have to cry
I’d show u how I feel
Without saying a word
I could rap up both our hearts
I know it sounds absurd

And i saw the tears on ur face
I shot u down and i slammed the door
But couldn’t make a sound
So please stay sweet my dear
Don’t hate me now
I cant tell how this last song ends

The way that i feel tonight so down so down
I pray i can swim just so i wont drown
And the waves that crash over me
I am gasping for air
Take my hand so i can breath
As i write this last song down

And i saw the tears on ur face i shot u down
And i slammed the door but couldn’t make a sound
So please stay sweet my dear
Don’t hate me now
I cant tell how this last song ends

The broken glass
Your moistened skin
Was everything was everything

And your broken voice
Was quivering
Your everything your everything

Scream at me make it the best i ever heard
Laugh out loud i know it sounds absurd

Scream at me make it the best i ever heard
Your everything your everything

Heart beats slowing pains are growing
Does she love you that’s worth knowing

Heart beats slowing pains are growing
Does she love you that’s worth knowing

Life:Enjoy

here was i once again.
busy. really really busy.
projects, birthday celebrations and emo outings to vent anger.
i shall conclude my activities at the end.
yea was talking to a taxi driver once again.
well, i tink i'm taken a liking to do so lol.
so he was saying life is about enjoying.
so once a while he'll save money and go L.A for some enjoyment.
well.
i'm not saying what he did was right but in stead what he said was very right.
look here.
theres many people out there.
who want fame and wealth.
Condos and private apartment.
Slogging their asses off and end of the day?
to pay for all these junks.
purpose?
to show off?
to let people know their rich?
hey its stupid.
really stupid.
its like. so what if you're rich.
a poor man can be happier then you.
so whats life exactly about for you?
i wonder.
period.

alright alright.
i've been out til late, 5 am?
for the past 6 days?
tues was a bad day.
reason? TP discipline committee came some problems.
wed was justin BD and went to MOS.
heres there cute part.
i tink i'm the only idiot who will go clubbing and sit at one corner.
no idea it just turns me off totally.
except for the ciggerettes.
lol.
thurs?
well, terence BD so went to ChillZ.
drinking once again.
and i am able to carry a person one and a half my weight up the stairs and with two bag sling across my shoulder.
cool huh.
friday?
drinking with another group of friends.
o well.
and sat was celebration for Kaili bd.
July is so friggin happening.

so i guess.
i guess i know shit now.
lol.
and i tink,
i've got a new break through.
(:

Last Resort by Papa Roach
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Dont give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
This is my last resort

Cut my life into pieces
Ive reached my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Dont give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding
Would it be wrong
Would it be right
If I took my life tonightChances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And Im contemplating suicide

Cuz Im losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me Im fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me Im fine

I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late
And I was empty within
Hungry
Feeding on chaos
And living in sin
Downward spiral where do I begin
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself
And no love for another
Searching to find a love up on a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils

Cuz Im losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me in fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me Im fine
Nothings alright
Nothing is fine
Im running and Im crying
Im crying
Im crying
Im crying
Im crying

I cant go on living this way

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Dont give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Would it be wrong
Would it be right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And Im contemplating suicide

Cuz Im losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me Im fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me Im fine
Nothings alright
Nothing is fine
Im running and Im crying

I cant go on living this way
Cant go on
Living this way
Nothings alright

Society

well. i just got home from drinking and i'm semi drunk.
well. i'm having a little problem typing over so just bear with me ya.
lol.
was talking to the taxi driver about the society now so i realise i've got something to blog about (:

we were talking about the society.
as in how much it has changed.
he was saying like in his generation.
when couples were dating,
they dont even hold hands.
whats now.
during my generation,
it like most relationship starting during secondary school period.
now?
when primary 4 students say that they are have a bf/gf its not even surprising.
whats the world turning to man.
its really likw WTF OMG.
its like whats wrong with the youngsters nowadays.
are they able to think for god's sake.
perhaps i'm getting old here.
but either way.
things are getting out of hand.
definately.
and thats not a really good sign.
and that sucked.
totally sucked.
ultimate.
is this wad the society is turning into.
i seriously wonder.

PS:
i seriously hope things are still on the right track.
i'll try to make things right.
and fuck it.
the discipline matters regarding me are freaking getting out of hand.
and its like i'm getting kicked out of school.
you want me to apologise?
over my dead body.
bloody fuck.
screw you people.
i'm gonna make things right my way.
so be it.
fuckers.

Your call by Secondhand Serenade.
Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your...)

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
x4
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Reality

Reality.
Illusions.
Are you living now.
As in are you living the way you want now.
Are you being who you are now.
Are you happy.
Are you satisfied.
No?
Yes?
Most people answer would be a no.
I'll come to that later.

Why aint you happy.
No money?
Cant get the person you love?
Cant realise your dream?
So many reasons.
Lets talk about need and want.
What is your want and what is your need.
Which will make you happy.
People always got confused between this.
There is a major difference between need VS want.
and ability VS desire.
Know your stand.
I can tell you this.
Even if you're happy.
How long you think your happiness can last.
Not for long isn't it.
Why is that so?
Simple.
Human desire never ends.
Interestingly.
We are the one we gave ourselves trouble.
How to be happy?
Figure that out yourself.

But know this fact.
No one is happy.
No one will.
For this is a fact that human desire never end, never stop.

So if you're someone who keep pondering what is happiness.
Why arent i happy.
Why are others so happy.
Why i cant be like them.
I can tell you this.
What you see is just their external facade.
Who knows if they are really happy inside.
So before you sink into your own oblivion.
Think twice or perhaps thrice.
If you think you're having the worse life here.
Think again.
If you think you're the most unhappy person.
Think again.
If you think you're most lonely person around.
Think again.
Once again.
Its your life.
Its your choice.
Period.

Another story to share.
Pretty similar to the grass story but more complicated.
Here theres a class taking their test results.
They were very unhappy and a teacher overheard their conversation.
They were saying things like.
"if only i studied that topic."
"If only i studied harder."
Thus the teacher decided on something.
To bring them to a apple farm.
*i choose apple coz i like apple lol*

So here was the teacher and the class.
The teacher said.
We will walk across this apple farm.
Each one of you are required to pick an apple.
But only one.
And you cant throw away once you picked it.
So at the end of the day.
All the student were at the end of the field with an apple in their hand.
So the teacher asked.
Is everyone satisfied with the apple in their hand.
Most said no.
The teacher asked why.
*PS:Heres the important part.*
Some said.
"After i picked my apple, i saw better ones infront."
"After picking my apple, i realise the better ones are at the start and i walked pass them already."
"If only i knew the better ones are at there, i would have waited or taken them, not missing the chance."

What am i trying to say.
I'm trying to say is.
Reality is harsh.
The apples are the choices we make.
The field is the path we walk.
And we cant turn back time nor take back our words.
Its our decision and we have to responsible for it.
Whats the point of thinking 'if only'.
If there were so many 'if only',
the world would be perfect.
sadly thats not reality, thats everyone's fantasy.
yes we do regrets our decision made.
we all make mistakes.
but should one probing and sink into their world of 'if only',
or learn their mistakes and move on.
Its your life.
Its your choice.
Period.

PS:
Fuck it.
Things dont seem to go as i planned.
Fuck it really.
Seems like i need to take further measures.
Anyway guys check this out.
i sent this to my careperson.
Everyone's gotta do it.
This is my art piece.
(:
Right click and save it.
HERE

A decade under the Influence by Taking Back Sunday
Sad, small, sweet, so delicate
We used to be this dying breed
I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about this

You kept still until the long drive home
You slept safe and close to the window...
I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about...

Who's to say you'll have to go (I could go all night)
Well say you'll have to go (I could go all...)
To hell with you and all your friends
To hell with you and all your friends, it's on

Sad, small, sure in porcelain
You're skin and bones, I'm a nervous wreck
I got a bad feeling about this (when it comes to this)
I got a bad feeling about this

You kept still until the long drive home
You slept safe and close to the window
I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about...

Who's to say you'll have to go (I could go all night)
Well say you'll have to go (I could go all...)
To hell with you and all your friends
To hell with you and all your friends, it's on

I got a bad feeling about this (what is this for?)
I got a bad feeling about...

Anyone will do tonight
Anyone will do tonight
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Anyone will do tonight
Anyone will do tonight
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Anyone (anyone) will do tonight
Anyone (anyone) will do tonight
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Close your eyes, just settle, settle

Well I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this (to hell with you and all your friends, it's on).
I'm coming over but it never was enough
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
Well I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about this (to hell with you and all your friends, it's on)
I'm coming over but it never was enough
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
Well I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about this (to hell with you and all your friends, it's on)
I'm coming over but it never was enough,
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
Well I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this (in you...).
I'm coming over but it never was enough,
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this (in you...).
I'm coming over but it never was enough
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this (I am you)
I got a bad feeling about this (I am you)
I got a bad feeling about this (I am you)
I got a bad feeling about this (I am you)
I got it bad (I am you)
I got it bad
I got it bad
I got it bad
I got it bad
I got it bad

Fear

Fear.
Who dont have fear.
Be it those which exist or non-existance.
Be it those tangible or non-tangible.
Actually anything under the sun.
People fear.
Parents.
Teachers.
Ghost.
Spirits.
Pain.
Sorrow.
Height.
Loneliness.
Death.
You name it.
You got it.

Lets start with why people fear alright.
Reasons.
People fear because of past experience.
Because you know whats its like.
You don't wish it to happen again.
People fear because 'thats what they say'
I'd say its influence.
Because of what other people say.
You perceive it the way they perceive.
Thus they created this fear in you.
People fear cause of what they see.
Because the incidents are similar.
They have seen the outcome before.
Thus they fear.
Interesting isn't.
The funniest thing is.
People fear what they will eventually go through and those that doesn't exist.
Thats the joke.

Ghost.
Spirits.
Monsters.
Do they exist.
No they dont.
They are just what i call.
Inventions of imaginations.
Because of movies, shows.
You picture them to be scary and believe in their existance.
You fear them.

Death.
This is another thing i dont get it.
We all will eventually die.
Am i wrong to say that.
Why people fear death.
When its inevitable.
Such a waste.
Think about it.
Why not embrace it.
And meanwhile lead a better life.

Personally.
What i think is the most fearful of everything that ever existed.
is loneliness.
Just imagine.
A world where no other beings live.
You're alone.
Or a situation where the whole world turn their back on you and ignore you.
Thats the point when you'll wonder whats your existance for.
This is the most fearful.
Learn it.
Cherish friendship.
People.
Bondings.
(:

Well.
I did something very impressive.
I actually climbed a 'stadium' lamp which is about 4 storey high.
Interesting huh.
Well what are my fears?
Its for me to know.
For you to guess! (:

Run by Snow Patrol
I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear