My life

This post would be something personal yup.
Actually I’ve been thinking deeply myself.
Of what I wrote.
I asked myself.
Whats my purpose of living.
Then I realize.
How cruel humans are.
Cruel til the point they shouldn’t exist.
I couldn’t figure out whats my life for.
Why am I living.
Here typing.
Then I finally came to a conclusion.
I am here and alive.
Is because I’m unable to die.
I’ve come to a conclusion.
Life is a journey.
A journey to death.
I believe death.
Is the end and yet the beginning.
This is what I know now.
The reason I’m alive.
Something don’t exist and occur for no reason.
Human exist to ruin our motherland.
We hate we kill we ruin.
We all should just die.
So do i.
I wouldn’t care much about my life now.
Even if I would just die.
It won’t be surprising.
From young.
I’ve always thought about death.
How people die.
Why people die.
I’ve thought many reasons and ways.
Sometimes.
I wished I would just got a cancer.
Or got into a accident.
Or just happened to die.
I realize this now.
Mankind.
Human.
Me.
Should be eradicated.
Motherland shouldn’t be tolerating us.
We made others suffer.
We caused death.
We create sorrows.
I do.
I am sorrow.
I am death.

So conclusion.
I thought to myself again.
I don’t wish to die leaving many unsaid words in my head.
Cause we don’t know when we’ll die.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe next year.
Eventually you will.
I won’t depend on anyone.
I won’t be a burden to anyone.
I wanna tell my friends.
I love you guys.
Live well.
Shawn
We might drawn distances.
But we know our heart is here.
I want you to know.
Deep inside you’re still my brother.
For life and I mean it.
WS.
My past.
I apologize.
I’m grateful.
For everything.
For anything.
In life.
There are unpredictable things.
Inevitable death.
Unvoiced accidents.
Parts and parcels of life.
I really did loved you a lot once.
But I’m sorry.
It swayed.
It went.
It flew.
My bad.
Live well.
Cherish what you have.
Life’s a learning journey.
Don’t be drag down by past.
They will only consume you.
And J.
Memories will hang by me.
I won’t forget.
I won’t look back.
All the best and sorry.
I might made a lot assumptions.
You might claimed that those are made by me.
No evidence.
Hear this.
I’m a very observant person.
I don’t think or react someway or another.
For no reason.
I won’t blame you.
Nor anyone.
But myself.
Mistaken is what I would call.
Misled would what it would be.
Smile and don’t frown.
Grow old easily.
Smiles.
Brothers.
Memories.
Pubs sessions.
They’re great.
We might not really know each other for long.
But we cherish one another we know it.
But just that we don’t say it.
Now I will.
Life’s unpredictable ya.
All those running from tutorials and lectures were memorable.
All the ‘xia lan-ness’ talks.
Prata sessions are unforgettable.
Smoking period.
We smiled we laughed.
We frowned.
But we’re bonded.
YQ.
Don’t betray my trust.
I might not know whats going on exactly.
But at least roughly.
I don’t blame anyone.
All I ask for is frankness.
Theres no need to lie at this point of time.
Mutual trust between us yea.
I might forgive you once.
Twice.
But I cant guarantee you how many more times.
I trusted you.
I hoped you do to me.
We’re closer then any couples remember?
If you realized I don’t really care about that debt anymore.
Haha. Jokes.
I’m not a gay by the way.
All the best.
I would die for anyone.
I would lay my life down for you guys.
In your place.
If things were to happen.
J.
YQ.
Shawn.
WS.
Chris.
Ivor.
Bert.
Tere.
XF.
Duck.
Cheers!
=)
I would lay my life down for anyone.
Even strangers.
Cause I’ve seen enough in life.
I can no longer figure out what I still yearn for.
My life is no longer lacking of anything.
I got memories.
I’ve got my lovers.
I’ve got my brothers.
They’re enough.
So I no longer see my worth and value.
Thus I’m writing this.
I don’t wish anyone of you people out there to come approach me regarding this post.
Especially my tagboard.
Keep it to yourself.
Don’t talk to me regarding this post.
Cause I’ll feign ignorance.
Death is something inevitable.
But I no longer have the motivation to avoid it.
Now I yearn for something.
Something special.
I want to know.
Whats going to be like in afterlife.
Or even if it exist.
Cool ya.
Til here for this post.
Remember my request.
My purpose of this post is not trying to gain sympathy or whatsoever.
I just want people around me to know something more about me.
Something which no one knew.
A side which is unrevealed and hidden.
What you’ve seen is just a happy go lucky Cheng.
There is this side of me.
Which no one know.
My deep thoughts.
My own thinking.
Its time to let loose.
Sorry for getting carried away.
A little secret of mine.
No living being know this other then me.
I actually attempted to commit suicide when I was primary 5 or 6.
Scary huh.
But something we gotta keep in mind.
Life’s unpredictable.
We might just die later.
Period.

Life

Life.
Whats actually life all about.
Why are we even living.
What do we live for.
Who do we live for.
What is life all about.

Life.
Is about everything.
Its about loving.
Its about losing.Life
Its about giving.
Its about risk.
Its about living.
Its about experiencing.
Its about dreams.
Lastly, Its about dying.

Loving.
We live to love.
We love to live.
We give love.
We take love.
We forsake love.
We nurture love.
Who do you love.
Who love you.
We pass our days loving people around us.
We care for them.
We look for for them.
We love them.
Family. Friends. Buddies. Spouse.
We live to see them succeed.
Because we love them don’t we.
There isn’t anyone who isn’t loved by someone else.
Maybe they are not the person you wanted them to love you.
Sad.
Then why don’t you live to love them.
Rather then wait for them to love you.
Live well.

Losing.
As time passes.
We see people around us leave.
Be it dead. Or gone.
They will leave sooner or later.
Matter of time.
Then why do you live.
Do you live to see people leave you.
Do you live to see people die.
Do you live to attend funerals of people you know.
Its inevitable that people will leave.
Its something everyone will go through.
Its part of life.
We cant prevent it.
Losing doesn’t apply only to people.
We lose love.
We lose possession.
We lose fame.
We lose respect.
Who doesn’t fall in life.
We doesn’t make mistakes.
No one is perfect.
Life is about learning your mistakes.
Picking up yourself.
Yes we can’t remove memories.
Its about how to overcome it.
Some self experience.
It was o level period.
Like any other students.
I’m taking o level.
And I’m good at maths and science but not languages.
I missed my add maths paper.
Of which I could have gotten at least a B.
It was a worse to blow to me ever.
Even now.
Yes I do regret.
Perhaps I could gotten myself to JC.
But looking on the things now.
If I were to went for the paper.
I wouldn’t know people I know now.
Many things wouldn’t happen.
Somethings lead to another and the next.
I picked myself up.
I learned to be organized and punctual.
Enough said.
Life is about ups and downs.
Its about storm and rain.
Its part of life.
No life is smooth sailing.
No matter how careful you are.
You’ll still fall and dealt damages
No things happen for no reason.
You might not see it now.
But you’ll see it in the future.
When something bad happened.
Ask yourself.
Why it happened.
How has it affect me.
What am I suppose to do now.
Yes.
There are times you cant answer yourself.
But theres an answer to every question.
Look for it.
Ask for comments.
They cant help you make decisions.
But they could unravel your thoughts.
Learn this well.
When you lose some.
You will earn some.
Live well.

Risk.
We’re taking risk.
Every moment.
Every minute.
Every single second.
Risking death.
The moment you cross the road.
You risk being knock down by drunken drivers.
When you confess.
You risk being rejected.
Even when walking.
You’re actually risking slipping down and knock your head and die.
Bet you never thought of it.
Yes.
Its stupid.
My point here is.
There are many small little details in life.
Where its too small that people often overlook them.
While actually all those small little things matters.
Pay more attention to people around you.
To your life.
As something don’t appear and happen for no reason.
They are there for a reason.
Period.

Look for your purpose of life.
Of your existence.
Something don’t appear and happen for no reason.
You’re that something.
I’m that something.
We’re all something.
We don’t appear for no reason.
We all contribute and affect others.
There are times when you unknowingly damage someone.
Or even kill someone.
If you’re unable to determine your purpose in life.
Ask yourself.
If you don’t exist right from the start.
What wouldn’t happen.
Would your friends and family be as it is now.
Would people whom you made them smile. Smile then.
Look at the brighter side of everything.
Learn.
Live.
Period.

Ps: Five person you will meet in heaven. It’s a very good book.

Sin

Sin.
What is sin.
Wrong doings?
Faults?
Mistakes?

Definition from Dictionary.com.
- transgression of divine law
- any act regarded as such a transgression, esp. a willful or deliberate violation of some religious or moral principle.
- any reprehensible or regrettable action, behavior, lapse, etc.; great fault or offense:

Kind of.
Its more of doing something against moral principle.
Other words.
Self-definition.
Perhaps.
Since most of things are self definition.
You might define ‘Sin’ differently.

In this world.
Is there anyone who is not sinned.
Doubt so.
People make mistakes.
Grave ones. Unforgettable ones.
Its alright to make mistakes.
But the learning process should not be erased.
People always say.
Forgive and forget.
Easy said.
Well said.
Doing is a whole different story.

Just imagine.
[Reference from Saw 3]
If someone accidentally knock down your beloved 3 year old son.
One day. Somehow or another.
You are able to determine his fate.
2 choices.
30 seconds to pick.
To forgive him and let him live.
To seek revenge and death upon him.
What would you do.
I did a small survey.
More would pick the 2nd choice.
Mankind.
Law of nature perhaps.
The revengeful and cruel side of humanity.
Is this sin.
Or not.
Onlookers would say.
How can you be so cruel.
Players would say.
I did what I think its right.
In this case.
Whats right. Whats wrong.
Pick your stand.
Choose your side.

Something simpler perhaps.
Betrayal.
If someone betrayed you.
Took your family.
Possessions.
[If possible relate this to some drama.]
You worked hard.
Built everything from scratch.
One day.
You ruin his life.
His everything.
Is this right.
Or wrong.
Bible says.’ You reap what you sow’
Dealing the damage once dealt to you.
Back to the dealer.
Is this sin.

Who isn’t selfish.
Who doesn’t yearn for the better.
Who don’t love themselves.
Is trying to treat oneself better at the expense of others a sin.
Is being revengeful a sin.
Its your choice.
Its your life.
Period.

Change:People

People changes.
Adapt. Grow and die.
Everything is changing.
Environment. People.
The clock will not stop ticking.
Everyone change.
And we’re all unique in our own way.
Two might be similar.
Definitely not the same.
People change.
Peer influence.
Environments.
Be it harsh or easy.
For the better.
Or the worse.

Peer influence.
Are your circle of friends good.
Or bad.
Do they help you.
Or ruin you.
What have you learn from them.
Stealing things?
Throwing temper?
Picking fights over staring incidents?
If your circle of friends did all those mentioned.
You’ll definitely will do those in matter of time.
Hanging around with them.
How can those help you.
How will those ruin you.
Police record?
Fun?
Excitement?
Is it worth the call.
Fun and excitement plus a police record.
Its your choice.
Its your life.
My advice.
Stop chasing rainbows and get a life.
Period.

Environments.
Environment where.
You can only give in.
But you are not allowed to take anything.
You’re always at fault.
No matter what you do.
Even if you’re right.
A life so threatened.
A life where happiness seems so far away.
Filled with misery and sorrow.
Its adapt. Or die situation.
People changes then.
Aggressive.
Self centered.

People.
We adapt. We change.
We live. We die.
Affected and changed by other people.
There is no good.
There is no bad.
Self-definition.
In a relationship.
Where you have no freedom.
Where you’re physically and mentally strained.
Where you’re thrown with everything.
Where you know its your limit yet it won’t stop.
People change people.
Period.

Change:Past

Change.
In life.
Theres something that cannot be changed.
One man’s past.
Once hurt.
Once killed someone.
Once Cheated.
No one. Nothing.
Its something unmovable.
Can never be erased.
Yet we still got a choice of how to handle it.
You can choose to accept it.
Or to be drag down by it.
Allow it to haunt you.
Same to others as well.

Suppose you’re a manager.
Would you hire a ex convict.
Give him a chance.
Accept his past.
Or. Still see him as a murderer.
Condemn him.
Its your choice.
Its his life.
To ruin it.
Or let it have a 2nd chance.
Period.

When you failed yourself.
Like overslept an o level paper.
Of which you could get distinction.
Would you be able to get over it.
Or stuck there.
Blaming yourself.
Suffer from depression.
Or to quickly accept it.
Get over it.
Learn from it.
Its easier said then done.
Its just another excuse.
Maybe.O level is small case.
What if you got raped.
Think about it.
Period.

Sadly.
There are times
When people picked themselves up.
Yet pulled down by people.
Like they accepted their past. Their failure.
But due to gossips.
Cold stares.
They all can bring a person down.

Story sharing period.
2 frog.
1 deaf frog.
1 normal frog.
Both of them fell inside a well.
So deep that its known to be bottomless.
So the rest of the other frogs gathered around the well.
In stead of cheering for them.
They were boo-ing them.
“its so deep.””Sure die”
“Don’t waste your energy. Just die”
The normal frog gave up.
But the deaf frog tried even harder.
And he managed to jumped out of the well.
Cause in his perception.
The other frog was cheering for him.

An encouraging word to someone who is down can life them up and help them make it through difficult times.

A destructive word to someone who is down , can be what it takes to kill them.
The tongue has the power to control life and death.